Living Will

Next week, I will be given the ability to create a living will as my unit will be getting briefings from JAG on wills and living wills.  It has stirred quite a few thoughts in my head.

I have known for years, that I never wish to live in an incapacitated state.  I know I do not wish to be a vegetable.  I do not wish to have my love ones dragged across the earth to visit me in some condition where I may or may not even know that they are there.  The people I care about carry me with them today and I carry them with me.  Whether I breathe this air or blink these eyes, that does not change.  I never want to be that burden on people.

I am surely a hypocrite  I never want to see my loved ones go.  I never want them to give up that fight, to throw in that towel.  But when they do, I'll swallow the pain and let them go.  Because I hope it will give others the strength to do the same for me and I hope that it will help them find peace on this earth before they leave for their next stop, whatever their belief. 

My wife never wants to speak of death, of passing.  We are both fairly young but both in the army reserve, so it's a topic we each face.  I respect her right to face it how she will, but I want the peace of knowing that I can draw up this document next week with the knowledge that it will be executed.

I don't want to give up any chance of recovery, so if it is possible I want a maximum of 1 week on life support or whatever if there is a chance of recovery.  I think it is fair to both me and my loved ones that I fight a week and no more. Every moment of that fight will be torture to me and those who care about me.    If I am incapacitated to the point where I can no longer communicate, I'd rather be dead, even if I can "live" without life support.  If you have to ask me, "Blink twice if you want to die."  If I do nothing, ask me, "Blink twice if I want to live."  If I'm at the point where the only thing I can do is blink... I don't want to be here anymore.